A Different NewYork

Warriors fan fiction created by members of the forum.
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flew to high
Rank: Savage Hun
Posts: 81
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:05 pm
Location: London

A Different NewYork

Post by flew to high »

This is my first attempt of writing my own Warriors story please tell me what you think.

11:38pm four months since the meeting

“Are them cats still on us?â€

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Baby Bear
Rank: Warrior
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Re: A Different NewYork

Post by Baby Bear »

Very cool story. I liked it. Good description. You should've made a different gang wanna make a move on the A.C's.For example when you said the Furies wanted to take out The Turnbulls you should've used a gang that people aren't familiar with so the reader can say "Wow I never heard of those guys!"

Keep up the great work. Make more fan fiction stories. You have some talent.

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flew to high
Rank: Savage Hun
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Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:05 pm
Location: London

Re: A Different NewYork

Post by flew to high »

I said it would be a while untill my next chapter but I just got so into my writing that I wrote another chapter so enjoy.

Chapter 2
“Swanâ€

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Baby Bear
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Re: A Different NewYork

Post by Baby Bear »

You did good again. You could've made your chapter a little longer.

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The Swan
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Re: A Different NewYork

Post by The Swan »

Baby Bear wrote: You did good again. You could've made your chapter a little longer.
Ye flew to high very good job, very good ideas... I agree BB, chapters a little longer would make your story almost perfect!!! 8)
[color=#FF0000][align=center]Wanna Fight? Make Your Move![/align][/color]
[align=center][img]http://digilander.libero.it/ran.s/HoustonTheSwanLogo.jpg[/img][/align]
[color=#FF0000][align=center]"That's cause u guys r so bad they're afraid of u!!!"[/align][/color]

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Hector
Rank: Warrior
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Re: A Different NewYork

Post by Hector »

Excellent job, keep it up! Oh, and sometimes having chapters shorter, depending on what you put in them, can still be good.
[img]http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb43/Nickpenno212/SinCity3.jpg[/img]

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flew to high
Rank: Savage Hun
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Re: A Different NewYork

Post by flew to high »

Here You go guys the long awaited 3rd chapter.Enjoy!

Chapter 3
10:42 The next night
“I’ve called you all here tonight,â€

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Rembrandt_Swan_Ajax4ever
Rank: Orphan
Posts: 35
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 3:16 am
Location: Australia

Re: A Different NewYork

Post by Rembrandt_Swan_Ajax4ever »

i love it nice work

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flew to high
Rank: Savage Hun
Posts: 81
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:05 pm
Location: London

Re: A Different NewYork

Post by flew to high »

Ladies and gentleman here is the much awaited next chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 4

The large metal doors of the warehouse were thrown open with such force that the sound echoed throughout the building. Swan stormed into the building like a mad man. “WARRIORSâ€

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flew to high
Rank: Savage Hun
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Location: London

Re: A Different NewYork

Post by flew to high »

Its been a while but here you guys go another suspenceful chapter enjoy!

Chapter 5
Later that night…
“Yo Rembrant, where are you manâ€

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