Zombie Survival Tactics!!

[LIPPY]

Hey people, I was watching the original Dawn of the Dead the other night, and as usual my mind wanders into thinking what I'd do if there was an outbreak of zombies ( )... So, what would YOU do if somewhere in your area, a bunch of dead folk were on the loose. Oh, and by zombies, I mean the 'won't die until shot in the head' kind.  Lovely...

[Manson-Cryptorchild]

Interesting topic; I've thought of this before, too. I really don't know what I'd do if it ever really did happen. I would definitely be really stunned and I always figured that I would just give in and allow them to turn me into a zombie. But you know, I think it'd be worth an attempt to try to survive. Lock and load!But I probably wouldn't make it too far.

*MC

[Oddity]

Can zombies use elevators? If not i'd go to the top of blackpool tower

[Johnny Bosco]

Welcome to Johnny Bosco's Zombie Survival guide (I have to post this)

The way i see it is you dont need to have military skills to survive a Zombie Apocalypse. Just keep your cool and know what to do. SO what do you need?---->

A CAR-
Yes, that's right. Don't stick around and fight. Find a car, start the engine and burn rubber. Get the hell out of town. Find a safe place somewhere, wherever that may be - perhaps your grandfather's cabin in the woods (the undead never go to places like that, right?). Pile in as many friends as you can, blow this pop stand and don't look back. Goodbye!

We'll go on the assumption that this plan failed miserably, Maybe you drove your car up a tree? Or ran out of gas in the iddle of nowhere? What do you need then

SHOTGUN-
This is probably your most effective weapon. Not only does it make a zombie fall down and stay down, but it also has enough punch to make them fly across the room and slam into the wall, which is always a beautiful sight. Be sure to have plenty of shells and learn how to reload quickly. Just remember to turn the safety off, and always aim for the head. Watch the recoil it can be hell on your shoulders, and you're going to need them to carry the weight of the world.

TWO HANDGUNS-
Yes, two. One for each hand, just like Doc Holliday or any number of heroes in Asian action films (and their knock-offs). Just like Chucky in Bride of Chucky, too! Why two, you may ask? There are practical reasons, such as two guns are able to hold more total bullets than one, and you're able to point in two directions at the same time. The most important reason? Two guns look cooler than one. And remember, aim for the head.

CHAINSAW-
This is a good back-up weapon if you lose your firearms. It calls for close contact, but the damage inflicted on your target can be pretty extreme. We'd remind you once again to aim for the head, but with this you can pretty much aim anywhere and you'll get some sort of satisfactory result. An alternative to this weapon is a lawnmower with the spinning blade held directly in front of you, as demonstrated in Peter Jackson's Dead Alive.

SWORD-
Again, this would call for close contact, and it's a bit unwieldy unless you're properly trained - watching Wesley Snipes in the Blade movies beforehand might help. If you get the hang of it, this weapon brings delightful results, including the sight of a zombie's head being severed from its body, flying through the air and landing with a splat on another zombie's face, which causes that zombie to fall over, and so on. Notice that we mentioned the zombie's HEAD being severed from its body. We cannot stress this detail enough.

DYNAMITE-
This can do a lot of damage, to say the least. The sight of exploding zombies can do much for morale, but there's always the risk of lighting the stick too soon or too late. You also have to allow yourself enough distance so you're not caught in the blast. But what a glorious mess this can make, if you know where to throw it for maximum effect. Remember, aim for the...actually, just toss it as far from you as possible and hope for the best

PAINT-
This is essential for creating large signs on rooftops for the rescue helicopters that will probably never come. Recommended words to use are "Help," "Alive Inside," And "S.O.S."  Don't blow this off as a tedious task, either - be creative! Experiment with different colors if you have them at your disposal. You might want to also translate your words into different languages, in case the members of the rescue team don't speak English -- and to show off the fact that you know how to say "Land Here" in Spanish, German, French and Klingon.

SIGNS/BINOCULARS-
This is good for communicating with other survivors who might be too far away to hear what you're saying. It also allows for touching moments of bonding and forming friendships without actually ever speaking a word to each other. This will probably make you pause and reflect on how existentially ironic the situation is, where you don't get to actually meet but have made a life-long friendship. On the other hand, it's also a good tool to make fun of the jackass across the street that didn't have the good sense to join you and your fellow survivors in the first place

A SOUL MATE-
Remember to get your dream girl (Or guy) with you. Becuase if you two are the last people alive in this world. You will need to be in charge of "Re-Starting" The human race.

So as you see. Alot of people can survive a Zombie apocalypse. You just need to know how.  8)
An what i would do? Get a car, A shotgun, And a helluva lot of ammo

[Oxygen]

just do the same thing they did in dawn of the dead live in a mall

you could live forever food,enternainment

i would go to the mall in alberta,canada cause its the biggest in the world, it has a hotel and even a rollercoster!!!

just bar off all the exists so the zombies cant get in

[Johnny Bosco]

just do the same thing they did in dawn of the dead live in a mall

you could live forever food,enternainment

i would go to the mall in alberta,canada cause its the biggest in the world, it has a hotel and even a rollercoster!!!

just bar off all the exists so the zombies cant get in

But if they find a way in. Your trapped :doubt:

[LIPPY]

Johnny Bosco! My man! Nice post  . I'd probably be stuck with a baseball bat, or if I'm lucky, a sword coz ain't no guns within arms reach over here! 
I wouldn't go anywhere that has only one way in/out, coz that's suicide. And Oddity, the blackpool tower is good, but what about food and water? You'd have to go back down sooner or later and I wouldn't fancy that much! 

[Oddity]

^ True, i guess id take as many supplies as possible and wait it out in hope they starve before i do, i like the idea because the chances of zombies following me is small plus the fact that if they do some how make their way up i have the option of fighting them or jumping.

[Sleepy Snake]

just do the same thing they did in dawn of the dead live in a mall

you could live forever food,enternainment

i would go to the mall in alberta,canada cause its the biggest in the world, it has a hotel and even a rollercoster!!!

just bar off all the exists so the zombies cant get in

The problem with West Edmonton Mall and any other mall would be that you'd need a lot of people guarding the entrances. There are about fifty-eight entrances in all, so it could be risky if even one was left unattended and a zombie managed to get through. The hotel may be safer if you can manage to block off the staircase and stop the elevators, though, but it would still be taking a chance.

As for my strategy, I'd stock up on supplies and then go to a smaller town around the area. There I'd look for a building with an upper floor, like a school, so I could block off the staircase and also have a source of food and medical supplies. Then I'd just wait and make sure to have a group of people with me in order to keep watch.

This topic reminds me that I need to finish The Zombie Survival Guide.

[LIPPY]

Getting up somewhere high is definitely the right thing to do  . Maybe a top floor of a building with an escape hatch to the roof (just in case), and if possible, other roofs that you can jump to if that fails too  . I'd just make sure I was in a place where I could see all around me, and know where the zombies were coming from. No closed spaces for me...

[Low]

Stay in high places with lotsa guns so they won't eat your brain  :badgrin:

[Ajax_41]

call in the military and run the zombies over with tanks

[Oddity]

Just pretend your already a zombie like in Shawn of the dead

[Low]

wasn't it a funny movie? 

[LIPPY]

It was 'a romantic comedy with zombies'. And a bloomin' good film, too! Although, I wasn't too impressed with the bit where they pretend to be zombies. I always thought zombies could sense the living, and would attack without hesitation. I know I wouldn't risk it!