Fan fic Competition: final- Baby Bear vs Dud

[nazzac]

You guys know the drill.

Theme: Gangs at War.

Deadline is Next Sunday.


Good luck.

[Dud]

Okay, here we go. Yellow asterisks denote an Electric Eliminators part; red indicates a Hi-Hats part.

Good luck Bear.  8)

---

*****

“Man, I can’t wait for this dance-off.” Header, my second-in command, said excitedly.
“Nor I,” I replied. “But right now we’ve gotta find a suitable place for it.”
“Hey, look.” Header said urgently, motioning up ahead where two Hi-Hats where stationed in front of a large burner.
“We must be near their hangout.” I replied. “Just stay close and stay quiet.”
“Right,” Header whispered, nodding. “Now what about over there?”
I followed my second-in-command’s nod and my eyes came upon a large courtyard. There were no burners so it seemed it would be a good place to hold the dance-off.
“Seems okay to me,” I nodded. “Now let’s get back to the hangout.”
My name’s Tracer, and I’m leader of the Electric Eliminators; a new outfit from SoHo who likes to bust a move just as much as busting heads.

*****

“Chatterbox,” I said, walking into the hangout. “Some of those pesky Eliminators came by, but Desmond and I pretended that we hadn’t made them.  They took one look in our courtyard and then walked off.”
“T-t-that’s all they d-d-did?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “What do-”
“You c-came up h-here to t-t-tell me that g-g-garbage?” Chatterbox yelled. “I’m doing something important, Jude.”
“Jacques” I replied quickly.
“W-w-whatever.” Chatterbox shrugged. “C-c-come over and b-be quiet w-whilst I d-do this.”
“What are you doing?” I enquired.
“If you must k-k-know,” Chatterbox sighed. “A m-message came on the r-r-radio earlier about the Eliminators h-holding a dance-off. I’m going to call up p-p-pretending to be one of those idiots and have it c-cancelled.”
“Okay, but...”
“But w-what?” Chatterbox demanding.
“You... well, you have quite a unique voice.” I said sheepishly.
“Okay then, s-s-smart guy. You m-make the call.” Chatterbox thrust the phone into my hands; it was ringing.
“Uh, hello,” I said when the person on the other end of the line picked up. “I’m calling for the Electric Eliminators. Unfortunately we haven’t had much interest in our dance-off and we’re cancelling on it. Guess we need a bigger rep before we go trying to set things like this up, huh? ...Yeah, thanks.”
I hung up and smiled at Chatterbox.
“That o-ought to show those s-s-sons-of-bitches.”
My name’s Jacques, and I, along with the other Hi-Hats, are going to make sure those posers the Eliminators get what’s coming to them, and fast.

[nazzac]

Baby Bear hgas to post or Dud will win by Forfeit.

[Baby Bear]

Gangs at War

"I thought they were our allies. We're built up of the same f*ckin' race."

Baby Bear stopped ranting. His legs folded in his chair. He was frustrated at the moment. If it wasn't one thing then it would be another. A big case was on their hands. Most likely on his hands. The word was sent that the 8th Avenue Apaches wanted to take over Queens lucisous turf that belongs to the Grizzilies.

He took a deep breath. He thought about the situation. He suddenly remembered that the Apaches were being ran out of their own home by the Fifth Street Bombers. Those news were reported last week.

"So that's why these p*ssies wanna come here and take us down!" He jumped out of his chair and pushed his office door open in anger. Unfortunately, one of his soldiers were standing right outside the door.

The door hit the unsuspected man. Knocking him back on his buttocks. Bear paused in his tracks and looked down at his injured partner.

"What the hell man?" the man cried.

"I'm deeply sorry, Skyhorse. I'm just p*ssed now."

Skyhorse rubbed his nose. Looking down at his palm seeing if he collected any blood. "Well, you know the word gets around." he gets up on his two feet and grits his teeth." The Apaches. They need some space."

Baby Bear put his hands in his pocket." Yeah, it is. The thing is they are only movin' their asses over here because of those 5th Street Bombers are dominating them down in Manahattan."

Skyhorse nodded his head. "Right. War isn't nessicary at this moment. Maybe we can try and strike up a truce. After all our gang is made up of what? 60? 70% of Native Americans!"

The Warlord nodded his head." I know. I'm not too big on trusting people. Especially them. I expected a race war."

Skyhorse swiped his nostrils one last time. This time he collected a small pint of blood. "Well, this time try and trust these guys. Look we can tell them. We'll throw out the Bombers from their territory and they'd have home sweet home again without tryin' to take us over!"

Baby bear looked Skyhorse in his dark brown eyes." Yeah. that's right. Sounds reasonable." he gave thought to it. "Ok I hope it isn't easier said than done. Go ahead. Hurry up and send the word. I don't want them bringin' their guys down here."

Skyhorse immediately took off.


*****************************

Apaches hangout....


With the Bombers eating away at their turf like parasites. The Apaches had one last place to stay. If they let that place get takien over then they would defiantely be out of luck. A man sat in a rusted chair near the window. Examining the nightlife. The people. Suddenly, A another man who stood about 5'9 entered the room.

"Warlord! The Grizzilies immediately sent a message back to us!" the man was frantic to tell.

"Spit it out, Thunder." The man demanded anxiously.

"Ok, the Grizzilies said they'll take out the Bombers. Help us regain our territory back. I say it's a good deal, Silverbird! No payments. It's free!" Thunder informed.

Silverbird nodded his head." Sounds good." he adjusted his multicolored headband. His long black hair drapping down at his sides stopping at his shoulders. He put his hands in his brown vest.

"Ok then. We'll just sit back and watch them do our work."

Silverbird was surprised. After the Apaches scheduled to bop the Grizzilies, he expected rivalry from that point on.

[Baby Bear]

The Queens subway was empty. It was pretty dead. Perhaps the people of Queens finally went to sleep instead of being out all night like usual. Baby bear and Skyhorse were on the boardwalk along with two other soldiers. They were waiting to take the subway train to Manhattan to take care of their buisness.

Skyhorse looked at the train tracks."Ok why couldn't we take your care, Warlord?!"

Bear smirked."You really think i'm gonna waste gas?Un less you want to pay for gas for me. I suggest you shut the f*ck up!"

Skyhorse laughed as well as the other two unknown soldiers. A loud noise echoed inside of the subway.

"Alright boys time to get goin'." Baby Bear announced.

The train stopped. The soldiers got in the train. Now on their way to Manhattan.

***********************

Manhattan......

The train came to a stop. The soldiers got off. Looking around at their enviorment. Skyhorse quickly pulled out his large dagger. The shiny metal caught the eyes of the warlord.


"What the hell are you doin'?" he asked.

Skyhorse leaned his head forward. He pointed to a group of five guys. All of them appeared to be of Italian descent. They were adorned in green baseball jackets. Baby bear looked at the guys. "Ok, I really don't feel like fighting now."

"Those are the Bombers." One of the Grizzilies chimed in.

"You sure, Fuzzball?" Bear asked.

Fuzzball nodded his head.

Baby Bear ordered for his small crew to follow him. The five men stopped and looked over at the Grizzilies.

"The Grizzilies! I heard about you all! You think you can get over on us, huh?" one of the men screamed out.

Bear looked back at Fuzzball. His heart was racing. At that point a fight was going to start. One of the Bombers made eye contact with another. The young man who recieved the eyes ran off and out the subway like a chicken with its head cut off.

The Bomber produced his switchblade. He wanted a fight.

Skyhorse showed off his dagger which was much bigger than a switchblade. "Well, we came here for a purpose."

Skyhorse jumped forward. A fight broke out between both of the groups. Skyhorse held the dagger over the Bombers chest. It came down and pierced the man's ribcage. Baby bear was thrown to the ground by another Bomber. He punched Bear in his head constantly. The warlord pushed him off. A lighter fell from the guys pocket. Skyhorse held his dager tighter and stabed the other guy that Baby bear pushed off. Killing him instantly.

Fuzzball kicked the other Bomber on the tracks. The man was knocked unconscience once the back of his head hit the tracks hard. The other guy ran off.

Baby bear got up to his feet." F*ck!" he was in frustration. His head was throbbing in pain.

Skyhorse looked over at Bear. "Calm down, man. We got rid of them...well some of them at least."

Bear gritted his teeth. Holding his head. Looking at the ground. He saw a lighter. A idea sparked inside of his head. "I got a f*ckin' idea."

*****************************


Baby Bear stood infront of the hangout that belonged to the Apaches, but was defaced by the Bomber with their foreign burners. Bear held a glass bottle in his palms. It contained a liquid. Gasoline. A towel sticking out of the tip. He held the lighter under the towel. Setting the towel alit. A flame radiated. Baby Bear howled like a wolf.

The other Grizzilies watched quietly.

Bear threw the bottle into the window of the hideout. It was set in flames. All of the soldiers were still inside. Killing them all.

"Well,Our job is done." Skyhorse commented.

"Yeah, all becuase of my lazy and sadistic mind." Baby Bear replied.

They watched the hangout be devoured by fire. Screams were heard.

"Let's send the word." Baby Bear mentioned as he turned his back heading towards the subway station.

*********************************

"Oh babies, Looks like the Grizzilies accomplished their missions. You Apaches should be happy. Oh there is one minor probelm. they burned down your hideout like exterminating those Bombers-

Silverbird got out of his seat. He was mad. "What the f*ck!? They burned our home down!"

Thunder looked over at Silverbird. He couldn't believe the news either.

"Wait a second, Apaches. The Grizzilies are letting you ally with them. Also they have a new home for you down in Queens. They don't want war. They want peace. Just lookin' out for you my brothers. Keep it cool!"

"Never stop till you get enough" by Michael Jackson begun to play.

Silverbird sighed. "Well at least they did somethin' for us."

Thunder nodded in agreement.


THE END!

[nazzac]

Thank you both, and the decision will be posted tommorow.

[Dud]

Nice piece Bear, and the best of luck to you 

Sorry I didn't get the rest of my piece up. My mum took me on a surprise day out to a racecourse yesterday, so I didn't have much time to write it out.

[Ninja]

whoa, this competion is still on? cant wait for the winner

[nazzac]

Ok. I have made my decision. Both pieces were great and were very good to read. But before i say anything, i will review each story.

First Baby Bear. I like how you have used your imagination in this story with the made up gangs, plus it was a finished piece. i few spelling mistakes but that would be hard to notice, because i was drawn into your story. It had good description, mwhich is always key, and i also like how you have used the title in a differant way than what most people would.

On the downside. I like the Grizzlies, but i would like to see something differant, it is just like reading another chapter from a big book, and if you could write about other gangs it would be cool.

Dud. I liked your begining. It's unfortunate that it wasn't finished. I like how you have used both sides of the feud, so it gives the reader a bit more insight of whats going on. Your spelling was good, but it lacked a bit of description. I like the way you write about differant gangs each time you write.

On the downside, i have to see a bit more than 1st person, i would like to see how you write in 3rd person. That would be cool.

Ok, enough chatter, lets get down to the winner.

It was a tough one for me, it's a shame you were the main ones to post and both deserve to win just for that.

The Nazzac Fan Fic Competition winner is...........................


Drum roll.



BABY BEAR!!!!!!

I would love to see your finished piece Dud, but Baby bears was better quality, both of them were great but Baby Bears description won it.

Well done both of you, and thanks for a great final.

[Baby Bear]

\m/ (O_o) \m/
YAY! I'm glad I'm won this. Kinda worried about, Dud. I thought he might finish his story and some how blow me out of the water.

Dud, If you want we can have another fan fic competition. Me and you. A rematch. This time you get to finish your story. Until then keep writing build up your skill! I want competition!

[nazzac]

I would like to see i finished story from Dud. I mean, just because the comp has ended doesn't mean to say you can't post the rest now. I'm sure people want to read the rest.

[Dud]

/Applauds Bear.

Nice job, man. I was beaten by a very good peice.  8)

Thanks a lot for the comments, both of you. Maybe I will get around to finishing it off, and yeah, I'm up for a rematch - maybe in a few weeks when I'm off from school and have more time. But yeah, I'll be building up my writing skills until then, so get ready. 

Finally, good job on keeping this running nazzac. Kinda a shame that not many people posted, but hey, it gave me a challenge trying new gangs and stuff.