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Home Sweet Home (FINALLY UPDATED 4/7)

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:22 am
by Space Toaster
Home Sweet Home
By Sarah Bross

Part 1
A door slam woke me up from my nap at the kitchen table. I looked around, sighed, and brushed my hair away from my face. The apartment was a wreck, as always. The sink was stacked with dirty dishes, the living room floor littered with empty cans and bottles and half-empty potato chip bags. There were about fifty Playboy/Hustler/whatever issues shoved under the couch that was my brother’s bed. The tacky flowery wallpaper was peeling and then there were all the mysterious stains on the carpet… I almost tripped over Jason’s stupid dumbbells as I went to see who came in the apartment. Honestly, why does he have to leave his weights in the kitchen of all places? We have a closet!

I walked in to see my oldest brother Jason on the couch, flipping through the TV channels. I was surprised and mad at him at the same time. He hadn’t been home for the past three days after all.

â€

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 4:32 am
by GramercyRiff99
WOW. This has some potential right here! As a matter of fact, this is one of the best examples of writing I have ever seen on this site! Nice to see you haven't stuck to the "OMG HUGE BATTLE IN EVERY CHAPTER MORE VIOLENCE IS BETTER LOL" route that is so commonly taken. Keep this one up, because I know that this is the new story to watch, in my books at least.

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 4:50 am
by Space Toaster
Hey thanks, I'm glad you liked it. ^_^

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 5:01 am
by Harley
I love your exploration of Ajax and his relationships with friends, family, girlfriends.  You make him into a such complex character that carries on well from what was established in the movie.  I believe that he would be like this before and after the events that took place in the movie.  Do you feel that you'll explore any others characters fron the movie in such depth?

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:20 pm
by Space Toaster
I think I might, someday. You never know. ^_^

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 8:49 pm
by popsicle_fury
Wow, that's some great writing! I like the sort of more intentional humour you gave the characters. I mean, Ajax is pretty funny, but it's nice to see something where I'm finding him funny for a reason other than him being a jackass. You really kept him in character while still being able to explore his personality, kudos. ^_^

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 9:20 pm
by cowboy rules
I really like this! I've noticed you always come up with very unique ideas Space Toaster instead of just fighting fighting fighting lol I love it, keep it up!  :D/ =D>

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:16 pm
by Cowboy79
Space Toaster this is awesome, I like that you just aren't making an all out fighting story. I like it keep up the great work.

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:09 am
by Space Toaster
Thanks a lot everyone for your praise and reviews. I'm especially pleased that not only did you enjoy the story, you told me WHY. I can't stand getting reviews that say 'i like this writ moer plz' . That really means a lot to me, thanks again.

Also, I though I ought to explain why I've featured Ajax in most of my fanfictions. Well, when I saw The Warriors for the first time, he stood out to me. Not because of his brain meltingly good looks (squee!) or his fighting skills, just, HIM. He stood out as the most flawed and human of the characters (Which I credit James Remar for) and I wanted to write what I thought is behind what we see in the movie.

Getting back to the story, I'm having some trouble with writing part 2. (Writer's block, grah!) So if anyone has any suggestions for what they would like to see, feel free to PM me.

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 3:59 am
by CAZ
you know, i just read "the outsiders" and this is reminding me alot of how pony, soda, and darry live. maybe it's just me. either way good fanfic.

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:48 pm
by Cowboy606
awsome writing, i really enjoyed the first bit, cant wait for more

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 1:44 am
by trixter468
cmon space toaster, more more!! i really love this story and want to read the rest. dont mean to pressure you, but just dont forget this. i love it!

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:55 am
by andy_man
Great work. I love the 'Exploration of Ajax' i call it, You can definitely tell that the main character and Ajax are related. Glad to see you post another story.

Re: Home Sweet Home

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 2:51 pm
by Space Toaster
(A/N: Finally, after a freakin’ long hiatus! An update!)
Home Sweet Home

Part 2
You know what the worst way to start a morning is? When you’re standing in your living room, having a screaming match with your big brother.

“You’re such a damn baby, Nat!â€

Re: Home Sweet Home (FINALLY UPDATED 4/7)

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 5:55 pm
by adam88
hey thanks for the update space toaster, welcome back.  Its good to see you writing again.