The Bangers. * FINISHED*

[nazzac]

Next part up tommorow. Major part so don't miss it.

[nazzac]

Me, and Nailz set of for the police station. It was a cold night, with a spot of drizzle, my hands were freezing. The station was a couple of minutes away, and we had to get there fast if we are to save them. We turned a corner and then saw a cop car approaching, i knew we couldn't linger, so we went down a dark alley. The car stoped, i was shocked at this. Did he see us? A cop got out of the car, and looked around before he went down this street. I and Nailz went back onto the street.
" I never thought it come to thid" I said quietly.
" Me neither" Nailz Replied
" By the way, where were you?" I asked Nailz.
" Oh" He said rather anxiously " I did a bit of looking round, well, thats my job as a scout"
I looked at him before turning towards the car, i saw another cop in there and my hear froze. I think he saw us. Soon the oher cop came back, and the one in the car came out of the car with batons in hand.
" Right, we take them out and drive of with the car" Nailz whisperd
" Ok" I replied. Nailz seemed to know what he was doing.
We appeared from the shadown and cracked the necks of both cops. I dug deep into the first ones pockets and grabed the keys, then we took the cops into the alleyway and changed into their clothes, putting ours into a plastic bag we found on the floor.
We dumped the bodys into a trash can, and set of to get our friends. The car started up and we was of, i turned the siron on as it will get us through quicker. Nailz grabed a , pen and a peice of paper, and wrote on it. I pretend not to notice.
" This note will get them free. They will think it is from Harrison and Garrison" Explained Nailz.
We turned the corner, and saw the cars in front. Yes the cop cars that took my friends. I went further on, and called to pull the cars up, and they did. We got out of the car, and so did 2 of them. Nailz gave them the note.
" Harrison and Garrison say you have got the wrong guys" Nailz said " release them"
"Ok" one of the cops replied without question
They all got out, and were uncuffed, then another cop got out, and looked at the note
" Hey this is not there writting." He said.
We all quickly ambushed the 3, and the rest came out, and  i cracked one in the jaw. I got a shot to the back of my head with a baton, i turned and punched the cop in the face. Another one came at me, and i tackled hoim to the floor, before raming his head 3 times on the concrete floor. Blood rushed out, and when i looked up all the cops were out. We all got into the cop car me and nailz brought and set of to our hangout.
" Thanks" Said Mark to me.
i nodded before stopping the car, we where there....

[Dud]

Nice piece nazzac. Was well-written and pretty exciting too.

One thought I'm having is that Nailz meant to disappear, and he was off with another gang or something. I actually thought he may be an undercover cop, but then I realised he would have just arrested Goliath at the police station.

You see how much this has got me interested? Ha-ha, anyway, I'll let you continue and I shall stop guessing.

Keep it up. 

[nazzac]

Sorry for the delay folks.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

We quickl got out of the car. I left the car with Nailz to take away so the cops don't suspect something. We all got rid of the police tape and put it in the bin. We all entered, and had a sit down. I went into the firdge and got a red bull and sat down in the corner. I soon relised i was still in the cop suit, i went into the toilet, and got changed in that area. I came out, and saw that Mark was punching the wall, then i heard a hollow soun.
" Mark, stop there" I said.
I booted the thing and it opended like a door, they were some stairs which led to another door.
" clancy, come with me" i said, and he followed me up the stairs, we got to the top, i looked at Clancy who then nodded like i should open it.
I opened the door...

[nazzac]

And it was a house, A deserted house that hd no life.
"  Hey guys, come look at this" Clancy shouted down in exitment.
Everyone comes up the stairs, apart from Nailz. he wasn't here again, there is something fishy about Nailz, he always seems to dissapear.
We all entered to look around. Looks like nobody lives here.
" This could be part of our hangout. As long as we get some stuff it could be ours" I said.
Everyone looked at me then nodded in anticipation. This should be a lot better than that thing downstairs.
" I don't like this" said Mark.
" me too" Said another voice.
" Ok, we will stay downstairs, but this is our evacuation plan in case cops come" I replied

we all went downstairs, and sat down. Tom turned the radio on, and there was some shit about The Turnbull AC's. I didn't listen until she said that they were after us.

[triscender]

cool

[Dud]

Some nice parts there nazzac. Nailz continues to look like he may be bad news for The Bangers, and now the Turnbulls are after them too. They've got a few problems.  :doubt:

Still, liking where you are going with this. Keep it up. 

[nazzac]

Thanks dud. The Bangers biggest fan lol. The next part will be up this weekend because i have no time while i'm on Holiday.

[nazzac]

They all turned to me, looking at me for something to say.
" Let them come We will meet them here" I say
Everyone urned to talk to the person next to them, while i sat down thinking of a plan.
Mark then sat down next to me, knowing that i wanted him to do something.
" go find some more people to join us. You have got until tommorow" i said to him.
Mark nodded then walked out in search of new members, we need more muscle if we are to defeat those skinhead fucks. i heard Tom say that we are going to get killed. The Turnbulls are the heaviest set bellow the Riffs, and will give us something to do. This could be our end.

Later that night... I was standing and waiting for the Turnbulls with a metal pole, i made sure everyone was packed and ready. We were ready for the battle. i heard footsteps, and heard a voice saying, down here. They came down, and once they reached the bottom, they stopped. All bold and all packed with wepons.
" What you want us for" i asked
a guy in a wheel chair poped up from the crowd
" I dunno" He replied. They had more men than us, we were against the odds.
" maybe u want to know how we know your hangout" He said to me, and i nodded. " Well we had someone on the inside"
Nailz popped up from the crowd, smiling.
" You fucking traitor, i thought u were one of us" I said angrily to Nailz.
" U don't get it don't you, it was a set up, i never got kicked out of the Turnbulls. Why would i disserpear every night" he replied

Well this it probably it, my last entry, the fight id about to start, and i am ready to kick some ass.

If i do return, i will write to you again my dear diary...

[nazzac]

BTW, i would love more comments on the story, it would be much appreciated

[papa arnold]

Sorry but im trying very Hard to understand the concept of this story as a whole.
You go from a getting beat by The Furies which is fair enough and then miraculously gets helped by the Infamous Warriors. Who claim 'To do all they can to Pedestrians' they wouldnt do that. The Warriors are a Street Gang of Petty criminals. As much as they might seem to be 'Cool' and our 'Hero's' in film, they are nothing more Than Vermin(No Pun-Intended).

Then you decide to have 'The Bangers' (Not a very Original Name' waste the Furies, But from what we see the Furies are probably one of the biggest gangs in the city with probably over a 100 strong members. They would not get waste by a Gang of about 6,7,8?, and in their own Hangout where alot of the Furies would be. Like you said you wasted them in their hangout. Dont you think the other 100 would appear somewhere?.

I get the idea of you Taking out Gang by Gang, but perhaps you should have started with the Orphans and worked your away up to the Furies. Also does this sotry have a point? are you building up to a big Climax? because at the minute all you are doing is having small Sub-Stories which dont really go anyway.

Also go into More dexcription just like Dud said on Page 1

" Every Move Out"- Could Become

"Sh*t. Everybody Go...GO!" Goliath shouts while dodging a blow from an Orphan.
You get my idea

Sorry to sound do Picky etc..Its a good story and i enjoyed reading it, just take to heart what i have said and it will be a great story

(Remember to read My lates story in about a year :O )

Best,
Papa A

[nazzac]

Sorry but im trying very Hard to understand the concept of this story as a whole.
You go from a getting beat by The Furies which is fair enough and then miraculously gets helped by the Infamous Warriors. Who claim 'To do all they can to Pedestrians' they wouldnt do that. The Warriors are a Street Gang of Petty criminals. As much as they might seem to be 'Cool' and our 'Hero's' in film, they are nothing more Than Vermin(No Pun-Intended).

Then you decide to have 'The Bangers' (Not a very Original Name' waste the Furies, But from what we see the Furies are probably one of the biggest gangs in the city with probably over a 100 strong members. They would not get waste by a Gang of about 6,7,8?, and in their own Hangout where alot of the Furies would be. Like you said you wasted them in their hangout. Dont you think the other 100 would appear somewhere?.

I get the idea of you Taking out Gang by Gang, but perhaps you should have started with the Orphans and worked your away up to the Furies. Also does this sotry have a point? are you building up to a big Climax? because at the minute all you are doing is having small Sub-Stories which dont really go anyway.

Also go into More dexcription just like Dud said on Page 1

" Every Move Out"- Could Become

"Sh*t. Everybody Go...GO!" Goliath shouts while dodging a blow from an Orphan.
You get my idea

Sorry to sound do Picky etc..Its a good story and i enjoyed reading it, just take to heart what i have said and it will be a great story

(Remember to read My lates story in about a year :O )

Best,
Papa A

I like any sort of comments on my story, but it's like a story per chapter. The reason they go for the Furies is that the leader gets beat up by them at the beggining. Also this is after the meeting, and some may have been busted by the cops when they were at the meeting. The Warriors part is that they have changed there ways after Cleons death, it made them think a little, plus when they heard it was the Furies they didn't like it one bit, and the fight leads to why they were not that many Furies. Try to use your imagination to what is going on elsewhere.

[nazzac]

Hello.

This must be Garry's diary. Yes you may have guessed that i am Mark. I didn't find any soldiers to fight for us but it looks like the fight has already happened. I look around and see broken bodys, bloodied and beaten. I look down at Garry who seems to be unconcious on the floor, he must have had a shot to the head because there is blood coming from it. I think this is the end of the bangers i see it. Nobobdy has moved, and it must have happened hours a go. I have thrown my vest away, and gone back to original clothes. i hear a siron, and two Paramedics come down the stairs. the Paramedics i called just 20 minutes ago. More came down with stretchers and one by one take my friends away. I stood in the corner watching on, nothing i can do. I decided to go to the hospital with them. I'll be back soon.

I'm back and have brought some sad news, all are dead apart from Clancy, who is seriously injured. So that is it, i have read the diary and must say it is an interesting story we led. But unfortunatly this is the end, and there is nothing we can do now. I turned the Radio on and it announced we were gone. I will see you now, i will leave you with your rightfull owner. Garry ( Golliath)

[papa arnold]

Sorry but im trying very Hard to understand the concept of this story as a whole.
You go from a getting beat by The Furies which is fair enough and then miraculously gets helped by the Infamous Warriors. Who claim 'To do all they can to Pedestrians' they wouldnt do that. The Warriors are a Street Gang of Petty criminals. As much as they might seem to be 'Cool' and our 'Hero's' in film, they are nothing more Than Vermin(No Pun-Intended).

Then you decide to have 'The Bangers' (Not a very Original Name' waste the Furies, But from what we see the Furies are probably one of the biggest gangs in the city with probably over a 100 strong members. They would not get waste by a Gang of about 6,7,8?, and in their own Hangout where alot of the Furies would be. Like you said you wasted them in their hangout. Dont you think the other 100 would appear somewhere?.

I get the idea of you Taking out Gang by Gang, but perhaps you should have started with the Orphans and worked your away up to the Furies. Also does this sotry have a point? are you building up to a big Climax? because at the minute all you are doing is having small Sub-Stories which dont really go anyway.

Also go into More dexcription just like Dud said on Page 1

" Every Move Out"- Could Become

"Sh*t. Everybody Go...GO!" Goliath shouts while dodging a blow from an Orphan.
You get my idea

Sorry to sound do Picky etc..Its a good story and i enjoyed reading it, just take to heart what i have said and it will be a great story

(Remember to read My lates story in about a year :O )

Best,
Papa A

I like any sort of comments on my story, but it's like a story per chapter. The reason they go for the Furies is that the leader gets beat up by them at the beggining. Also this is after the meeting, and some may have been busted by the cops when they were at the meeting. The Warriors part is that they have changed there ways after Cleons death, it made them think a little, plus when they heard it was the Furies they didn't like it one bit, and the fight leads to why they were not that many Furies. Try to use your imagination to what is going on elsewhere.

Alright that makes abit more sense
i did enjoy it though and you kept it up good
check out my story and comment

[nazzac]

Ok dude. check out my new story.