Least useful Warrior
Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 6:38 pm
This was touched on in a recent Rembrandt topic, but I thought I would expand it to include all the Warriors. Certainly, as Cleon explains, everyone has a purpose to serve, whether it's to hit everything in sight, provide heavy muscle, or whatever. Perhaps no Warrior is completely useless. But which one is the least useful? Which one brings the least to the table? Who does the least to ensure the Warriors end up back home at the end of the night? Consider:
Swann.
Pro: as second in command, must be present in case something happens to Cleon; doesn't like to see discarded flowers go to waste.
Con: according to Ajax, not good at finding train stations.
Fox.
Pro: possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of rival gangs; contrary to general consensus, is indeed the State department type.
Con: gets thrown under trains.
Vermin.
Pro: has the big one.
Con: easily suckered by chicks.
Cochise.
Pro: keeps gang focused on the importance of sticking together.
Con: also easily suckered by chicks.
Ajax.
Pro: heavy muscle; expresses concern over women alone in parks at night.
Con: constant accusations of homosexual tendencies among fellow gang members is bad for morale; according to Swan, never was very smart.
Snow.
Pro: good with a baseball bat; loyal to Ajax.
Con: none apparent.
Rembrandt.
Pro: unrivaled talent with spray paint; uncanny awareness of dangerous women.
Con: not much of a fighter.
Cowboy.
Pro: helps facilitate Ajax's unquenchable desire to fight.
Con: sleeps holding a baseball bat between his legs.
My vote for least useful Warrior goes to Cleon. His naivety is responsible for the gang, under his leadership, finding themselves in this situation in the first place, in unfamiliar territory, unarmed, and a long way from home. He gets wasted by the Riffs -- or so we assume -- thus abandoning his gang to fend for themselves.
Swann.
Pro: as second in command, must be present in case something happens to Cleon; doesn't like to see discarded flowers go to waste.
Con: according to Ajax, not good at finding train stations.
Fox.
Pro: possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of rival gangs; contrary to general consensus, is indeed the State department type.
Con: gets thrown under trains.
Vermin.
Pro: has the big one.
Con: easily suckered by chicks.
Cochise.
Pro: keeps gang focused on the importance of sticking together.
Con: also easily suckered by chicks.
Ajax.
Pro: heavy muscle; expresses concern over women alone in parks at night.
Con: constant accusations of homosexual tendencies among fellow gang members is bad for morale; according to Swan, never was very smart.
Snow.
Pro: good with a baseball bat; loyal to Ajax.
Con: none apparent.
Rembrandt.
Pro: unrivaled talent with spray paint; uncanny awareness of dangerous women.
Con: not much of a fighter.
Cowboy.
Pro: helps facilitate Ajax's unquenchable desire to fight.
Con: sleeps holding a baseball bat between his legs.
My vote for least useful Warrior goes to Cleon. His naivety is responsible for the gang, under his leadership, finding themselves in this situation in the first place, in unfamiliar territory, unarmed, and a long way from home. He gets wasted by the Riffs -- or so we assume -- thus abandoning his gang to fend for themselves.